For those who don’t know, I first wrote this book and published it in March of 2017. I had graduated from college the year previous and had faced some difficult challenges in that first year of post-grad life. And, I know that my reality was also a lot of my friend’s reality in that season, too. I had joked with others that our Senior Seminar class should have been more about, “What To Expect When The College Loans Kick In And You Have No Idea What You Are Doing with Your Life.” And, while I learned so many things through the difficult circumstances that I had faced over the years, what I didn’t know when I first published this book in 2017 was that I was about to enter the two foggiest years of my life.
To spare a lot of details, an unforeseeable situation happened in my life. If it wasn’t for therapy, the guidance of my spiritual leaders, and the help from doctors, I’m not sure I would be as healthy as I am today. And, as painful as those two years were, they produced something inside of me, a deeper faith, a fulfillment that can’t be found in anything else on earth, and a certainty that God is in control of my life, even on the days when everything is completely outside of my control. I can let go and daily surrender to Him, because without His heart beating through my life, then I am completely empty and lost in the midst of the fog.
So, what led me to re-write this book? In the Spring of this year, I received a text from a friend that told me that Chapter 16 was missing from my book. Since I self-published this book, I thought, “That’s weird. But, no problem, dude. I got your back.” But, when I went to re-upload the manuscript with what would include Chapter 16, it was gone. Vanished. Nowhere. Not even in the trash can on my computer. “No, no, no. This can’t be happening. What am I going to do now?” After doing a lot of digging, I finally found the very first draft of my paper. That first draft didn’t include nearly 80 pages of the final book’s content, but it did possess Ch.16. So, after sending Ch.16 to my friend and laughing about the fiasco, I unpublished the book. Now, what? To me, this was the end. But, really, it was the beginning. God told me to re-write the book. I felt the gentleness of His voice guiding me to share what I had learned through a season when the miraculous seemed nowhere in sight.
I still can’t speak of the details of what I walked through, since it is very personal (although I do share a piece of my testimony in the book), but I can speak to the fact that through the emotional trauma, God faithfully walked beside me, and placed something inside of me that no one can take away. This book is my story. It’s all of our stories. It’s about the fact that no pain is wasted when we surrender our lives over to Christ. This book tells the story about how healing is a process, but wholeness is also part of God’s plan. It shifts the attention away from our present state and lifts our gaze towards heaven, where joy, peace, and true love is found.
This book was birthed from a very difficult season, and as much as I wouldn’t want to re-live it, I am so thankful. In my own life, I prayed for two and a half years for God to do a miracle. I’m sure you know what that feels like. What turned into a two day trial suddenly turned into days, weeks, months, years. And, at that point, you begin to wonder if your prayers are even worth it. But, they are. Trust me, God knows what He is doing. Keep trusting in Him, even when it seems that the fog will never lift, even when it seems that there is no possible way out of the difficult situation you are in, whether that be a financial loss, family dysfunction, negative health report, you fill in the blank.
Through the foggiest seasons of life, God is producing something inside of you that will breathe God’s glory and help bring healing and hope into other people’s lives. The very thing that tried to destroy you will be the very thing that will be your launching pad to minister into the lives of those around you.
With all of this said, Through the Morning Fog, the second edition was birthed. But, really, it’s an entirely different book, not only because I’m a different person than from the girl who first wrote it, but also because the content is different, filled with lots of stories and words from my personal journals that I have collected over the years. My perspective on life has completely shifted in the writing of this book, because what I’ve realized more than ever is that it doesn’t matter what comes next, God has a greater purpose. When our lives are completely surrendered to Christ, when the difficulties come, we shouldn’t be surprised (there’s plenty of scripture for that). The fog is guaranteed. But, if we shift our perspective to focus on the unseen, instead of what’s right before us, we will be able to live our lives more joyfully, knowing that God’s glory will be revealed in and through us.
*Through the Morning Fog will be available November 1st in both Paperback and Kindle on Amazon. You can also request an Author Copy by emailing us or messaging me on social media. Be on the lookout for a podcast episode coming the second week of November, talking more in depth behind the writing process of this book!