I walked up to the counter to reserve a table at the restaurant and the hostess asked, “For how many people?” I looked around, smiled and replied, “Oh, just a table for one.” She smiled back and said, “Right this way.”
As an ENFP (being alone drains my energy like no other), I never intended on living by myself after college. In fact, I clearly said aloud, “I will live with roommates until I get married, because I cannot imagine living by myself.” Truly. Be careful what you say aloud. Something that you casually said four years ago will resurrect itself in reality and kindly nudge you and say, “Remember that time you said fill in the blank? Oh, yes, that was cute.”
While living alone is not ideal, there are a lot of perks and a plethora of stories that makes for great conversation starters. I mean, if you want to get coffee sometime, I’ll tell you about the time I had to move a couch into my apartment.
With all that said, I am often asked this question: How do you do it? How do you live alone? How do you live in a city where the nearest friend is a two hour drive away? And, how in the world did you move a couch into your apartment? (I’m telling you. It’s a great story.)
It all comes down to this answer: While I may tell the restaurant hostess, “Table for one,” in my heart, I have requested a “Table for two.” In this season where I spend more time by myself than with others, and in a season where I cook the most creative meals (because, the post college budget is real, my friends), I have found the most priceless gift. Jesus is enough. And, sometimes, where it feels really lonely, I pause and remind myself that Jesus is sitting at the table with me. When you get the revelation of who God is and that He wants to hear you talk about your day, hear your heartbeat aloud, and then reveal things to you in return, you begin to listen to God’s voice in a way that sometimes can only be found in the company of one.
This does not mean that everyone needs to go through a season of living alone(still not a big fan of it, but hey, I can go three days without doing the dishes and not be judged), but I do believe it means that we all need to go through a season where we request a table for one, yet know that we are dining with Jesus, where we get to dream, listen, and receive direction for our future.
Never underestimate what God is doing in a season where it feels like you are going nowhere. God uses every season for a purpose.
My motto in life is when things go awry, I will have some awesome stories to tell my kids one day.
So, on the night when my groceries scattered across the street, the night when I had to kill the most sedulous, mean looking cockroach, the evening when my bathroom sink broke, the night when I slept with ice on my body because I couldn’t afford a fan at the time(those L.A. summers can be brutal), and those comedic gold moments in the kitchen when the fire alarm goes off and you are left with a burnt dinner all to yourself, I can’t help but smile, laugh and thank God for this crazy season of life.
Jesus has become my best friend, my speed dial, my good Father, my Provider. And, if it wasn’t for this season, I don’t know if I would have ever gotten to that place of saying, in the very depths of my soul, “Jesus is enough.” Once again, you don’t have to live alone to get this deep revelation, but I do believe lonely seasons give us a very real, deep revelation of God’s relationship with us here on earth.
There may be days where I only request a “Table for one,” but in all reality,God has provided the best of long distance friends(FaceTime for the win),the most incredible church community (shout out to all the wonderful people in my church who have let me crash their house on the weekends), and a joy that will carry me through every season of life. When you have found Jesus, you will never thirst again. His words, not mine.
So, I encourage you to recognize the value of the season you are in. Don’t let it rush on by.
And, know that even when it feels like you are dining alone, when your eyes are truly fixated on Jesus, you will discover that in all actuality, you requested a “Table for two.”