Breathing Stillness.

Coffee spills through my veins, jazz music stirs the tapping of my foot, and black and white words find a home in my vacant mind.

It’s a Friday night and I’ve found myself on a date night with myself…at a coffee shoppe, of course.

Last night, as I drifted off to sleep  to the dissonance notes of our neighbor’s barking dog, my roommate and I conversed about how I am always busy.  Yet, I love it. It’s a blessing and a curse. To spend a couple hours by myself is not re-energizing. It sends me down a one way street that proves to be of no value to my commute in life. However, tonight, I’m taking my roommate’s words and running with them. Here, all by myself, I’m sitting in the stillness and recognizing the gift of slowing down.

I’ve been in a stage of life where I’m constantly looking to what’s next. What’s next after graduation?(I do have some exciting news on that.) I can’t wait until next month when I graduate, next month when I road trip up the entire West Coast, next June when I hike one of the seven wonders of the world, Macchu Picchu. Or, what about next summer when we launch a new bible study? Yes, I’m looking forward to that.

I’m a destination person. Thus, I’m asking Siri how many more miles until the next turn without realizing that the road I’m driving upon happens to be the historic Route 66.

Metaphors aside, I recognize the importance of being still and savoring God’s presence, sweeter than the best cup of coffee this world has to offer.

Last weekend as I drove along the PCH, I started crying. I stopped thinking about what was next and began to soak up the pastel skies, the grandiose mountains, and the misty seashore with an overwhelmed heart. How do I get to be in a relationship with the Creator of this universe?

Ever so sweet to push aside deadlines, to do lists, schedules, social media agendas, insert whatever it might be here, and discover that I was created to be in a relationship with the Creator.

The billboard sign reads 22 miles to go until graduation, but God steals my attention with fields of gold that breathe “You’ve already arrived.”

In  my Senior Sem class, I was reading an article in which this quote tugged at my heart strings:

“We have little longing for our reward in the next life because we’ve come to expect such rewarding experiences in this life.” -Christensen

There are so many decisions to be made, so many resources at our fingertips and I’ve wondered, in our 21st century, in post-modern America, do we stop to watch the sunset and know that Jesus is enough. Be still. There is value in finding time to just be with God, to come before Him and forget the temporary satisfactions that tomorrow will bring.

All you’ve ever needed, all I’ve ever needed is right here, right now.


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